The Revenge of the Nerds, Avengers Style!
by Mrs Billy Pratt
Summary: You just got served, son! When Loki plants a group of aliens at the nearby university, the Avengers are forced to pose as professors and students to defeat them! Haha Poor Steve... Rated T cause its COLLEGE. Duh.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The Avengers vs. college frat and sorority punks. Should speak for itself.**

**Disclaimer that I keep forgetting: I do not own anyone except my OC, Juliette Rosewood. Which sucks.**

Most of them had dealt with jerks like this before. At least one of them had _been _a jerk like them before. The only three who hadn't were almost all exempt from blame; one was an alien, one was nineteen, but the third had no excuse. Not even the iceberg theory would cut it this time.

"Would _you _go to college if _you_ were frozen in a block of ice for seventy years?" he insisted, and Tony slipped a piece of ice from his Coke down Steve's shirt. The super soldier screamed, retrieved the frozen liquid, then screamed again, even higher. He jumped behind Juliette and picked her up like a human version of the shield he knew so well.

"Put me down!" she shrieked, "Put—me—DOWN!"

Natasha viciously grabbed the soda from Stark's hands and shot him a dirty look.

"You know he has hydrophobia!" she snapped.

"Technically, he has frozen hydrophobia," shrugged the genius jerk-wad.

Steve set the already-scarred new recruit down, and she slapped him before trotting out of the room.

He blushed, rubbing his cheek, then realized that Tony was still sitting there with his smug little grin on his face. He walked over to Tony with his fist raised, and Tony raised his eyebrows.

Steve resorted to a painful slap upside the head.

Natasha walked over to Steve and licked her thumb, then wiped some food off his face. He frowned. "You'd make an _excellent_ mother," he muttered sarcastically.

"Are you kidding me?" she snorted, "I would leave one day for a mission, and the next thing you know, the kid's an orphan!"

"That would only be if Hawk dies, too," Steve pointed out. Both she and the archer froze, blushed, and stuttered like it was a fire drill. Then she passed Steve by and mumbled, "You'll pay for that later," before exiting the room.

"Umm…anyways," muttered Bruce. "Fury has designated us to do the worst mission ever."

"This is about the peanut butter thing, right?" cried Tony, "How was I supposed to know that he's allergic to peanuts?"

"No, this is not about the peanut butter thing. Will you shut up so I can finish?" exclaimed the doctor. "We all got assigned to stake out the nearby university."

Clint and Pepper groaned. "Sweet!" said Tony.

Steve looked excited. "I've never been to college before," he jumped up and down, "When do we leave?"

Bruce looked nervously at Tony. "Actually," he said slowly, "you were going to stay here and watch Loki."

Steve's shoulders drooped. "How come?"

"It's nothing personal," replied the doctor, "you're just…too—"

"Fragile," finished Stark.

"What?" said the captain disbelievingly, "Pfft. It's just a bunch of stupid kids, right? Pfft…no bigger."

"I think you mean 'biggie'" corrected Pepper.

"Whateven." He replied. Clint rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You can go." Said Stark. Steve jumped.

"I'll go pack my knapsack!" he said giddily.

Tony stared at him as he left.

"He won't make it ten seconds," he declared, then walked off with Pepper yelling at him at his heels.

"What are you doing?" yelled Banner, angry because Tony had taken over his leadership, "Go pack!"

Clint scurried away.

The eight people sat in the Hellcarrier.

One was relaxed, one was playing Mrs. Pac Man on his hologram, one was polishing his bow, one was bouncing nervously in his seat, another two were talking about business crap, one was hissing in the bouncy guy's ear to calm down.

The eight people were Bruce, Tony, Clint, Steve, Pepper and Coulson, and Juliette.

"Steve is getting way too into this," said Bruce, causing Tony to flinch and say, "What the heck, Blinky? Just what the heck?"

"Tony!" Bruce nudged the genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist.

"What?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Will you focus on the mission, please? Pinky and Sue can wait."

"Oh—yeah. What were you saying, Brucie?"

"Steve shouldn't be going."

Tony nodded. "I totally agree.''

Bruce stared. "Then why did you say he could come?"

"Was that me who said that?" phrased Tony absent-mindedly. "Oh, well. Natasha will babysit him. You know how she gets."

"Never mind," muttered Bruce. "Just forget it."

On the way, Phil enlightened them.

"Loki may have planted some armies here," he explained, "They have probably been altered to look like humans."

"You're kidding," said Tony in total disbelief. "Like on Star Trek?"

Phil smiled. "I'm glad you appreciate the seriousness of the situation, Mr. Stark."

"Which one of us gets to be Spock? Or is this Voyager, because I don't like the captain chick," said Tony evasively, "Oh, but that Seven of Nine Borg—wow. I think we should play Deep Space Nine! Or what about—"

"We aren't playing Star Trek, Tony!" said Bruce exasperatedly.

Tony pouted.

"But Loki's in the cell thing, right?" asked Steve, confused, "I was there this morning and he was playing hide and seek with his imaginary friend." Everybody stared. "Yeah, I'm concerned about his mental health. We should really get a doctor or something."

Phil shook his head to get the image out of his head, "Yes, but some of his army isn't."

"Oh." Steve proceeded to hum the theme song to 'Men In Black' so that no one would stare at him. Unfortunately, Phil had gotten more and more uneasy about that song or any references to the movie.

"Shut up, Steve," he hissed.

"What did I do?" he defended himself.

"Just hum a different song," soothed Natasha. Then Steve hummed 'I'm Sexy and I know it' because it was stuck in his head from Loki's different methods of torture.

Tony sniggered.

"Never mind," said Phil. "Okay, Tony, you will be acting as a class speaker for the students. Bruce, you're going to be an honors Physics professor; Natasha will be one of the sorority watchers, and so will Juliette. Steve and Clint are going to be frat punks."

Steve was horrified. "I have to dress up in all black?"

"No…," said Tony. "Can I be a frat punk?"

Phil smiled, "You're in your thirties, Mr. Stark. No. You can't be a frat punk."

"As I was saying, Pepper will be acting as Tony's assistant, unless she wants to work with Jules and Natasha."

Pepper thought while Tony continued to pout. "I think I'll stay with Tony. He would forget to eat if I weren't there."

Tony nodded glumly, "Yes, because I'm a youngster who doesn't know how to control himself!"

"Kids don't say youngsters." Phil laughed.

"Even I know that, Tony," said Steve.

"You say it all the time!" retorted Tony.

"In case you hadn't noticed, when I'm from, everybody said youngsters."

Tony continued to give everyone the silent treatment until they got to the meeting place a few blocks from the campus.

"This dump is our meeting place?" questioned Clint. "What the hell was that? Was that a rat?"

"This is the meeting place, yes." Phil laughed again. "We all know who we are, right?"

"We aren't getting fake names?" asked Natasha skeptically.

"Nope."

Natasha mumbled something under her breath about 'monkeys with clipboards.'

Steve leaned towards Juliette and whispered, "I-I got that reference."

"I know," she whispered back.

They all stood there after the Hellcarrier had left with Phil. There was a long pause.

"So now what?" asked Tony.

They didn't answer.

"I don't know about you losers," Tony smirked, "But Bruce and Pepper and I are leaving in style."

Just then, a Bentley drove up.

"That's a really nice car," mumbled Clint in astonishment.

"I guess we're walking," said Natasha as the car drove away.

"Okay," said Steve cheerfully. Then he hummed the Dora theme.

"Don't," warned Natasha.

Just before they got on to the campus, Natasha leaned over to Steve and brushed some hair out of his face.

"Natasha," he moaned.

"Just—hold—still!" she struggled with his collar for a few seconds before letting go.

Steve grunted as she planted a peck on his cheek. He looked like an oversized toddler because of the pouty expression on his face.

"Do I get a kiss?" said Clint wistfully.

"No," said Natasha.

"How about me?" said Steve hopefully to Juliette.

She laughed and pecked him on the cheek.

"That's not exactly what I meant," he muttered.

They finally arrived at the campus, Clint still saying, "How about now?" to Natasha. It was filled with students of ages between 19 and 28. There was a giant courtyard outside two large towers where the boys lived. Across the campus, they could barely spot the four short buildings where Juliette and Natasha would be staying. They could spot Tony in the foreground, signing autographs and talking to a girl who wore a red "I Love Ironman" t-shirt. Pepper ran behind them, with a grumpy expression much like the one that Steve had worn earlier on her face. Bruce was talking to a bunch of guys that looked like giant nerds. They were talking about space-time and Schrödinger's Cat. Nearby, in the parking lot, they could see a couple S.H.E.I.L.D. agents watching the fraternity and eating donuts. The girls knew that there would be some watching over the sorority.

"Stark!" yelled Natasha.

"Tash!" called Tony.

"What—are—you—doing?" she said through clenched teeth.

"Hang on a second," Tony cut her off, "Hey, Mandi, I'm gonna have to ask you to hold on: my teammates are a little jealous." He winked. "What were you saying, Tasha?"

"We're on a _mission_." She exclaimed. Quietly.

"And?" Stark waved to some fan from a distance and put up the 'call me' sign.

"You are impossible. How does Pepper live with it?" she moaned.

"She doesn't." he put simply.

Natasha stared at him.

"We should put you in the crazy cave with Count Nutball," she muttered.

He laughed.

"Hey," Steve walked up, excited.

"Hi, St-" Juliette started cheerfully, then saw what he had brought with him and scowled.

"This is Tanya. She says I'm 'hot'," The blonde standing next to him giggled. "I think that means I need to cool down or something, but guess what else I found?"

"There's no telling," said Clint, nervously scooting away from Juliette.

"They have free wiffy at the Starbucks!" he exclaimed.

Clint stared at him. "What the hell is wiffy?"

"He means Wi-Fi," stated Juliette angrily.

"Like, what are _you?_" asked Tanya to Juliette, and Clint cowered behind Natasha.

"Oh," said Juliette in mock surprise, "Me? I'm Juliette. His _girlfriend_. Or at least I _was_." And she huffed away angrily.

"Pepper…" said Tony warily.

"Already on it," she replied, and went after Juliette.

Steve just stood there. "Was it something I said?"

Tony sighed. "Actually, no," he said sorrowfully, "it was _everything_ you said."

Realization spread across Steve's face. "Crap," he muttered, and ran after her, yelling, "Wait! Jules! I'm sorry! Do you want to fondue? Jules!"

**(A/N: Did you get that reference?)**

"Shut up!" was the only reply, "And don't call me Jules!"

"Poor guy," Natasha shook her head.

"His goose is well and truly cooked," said Tony.

**(A/N: What about that one?)**

"I didn't know fondue was a verb," said Clint.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Let's go," she muttered, "preferably before we blow something up."

**A/A/N: Chapter I. It's a chaptered one-shot, which makes no sense…but whatever.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter TWO! These are probably gonna be short, because I need some story ideas. Review with your thoughts, and they might end up in the next chapters!**

"Juliette!" Steve called.

"What do you want!" she retorted.

"I'm sorry!" he caught up with her, and she stopped.

"I don't care!" she said.

He grabbed her shoulders and made a sad attempt to kiss her, but she shoved him away. "C'mon, Jules," he said. "I said sorry. I totally didn't mean it!" He tried to kiss her again. "Jules!" he moaned, "Look, I didn't know! I didn't know!"

"What didn't you know?" she said furiously.

"I didn't know you got so jealous easily," he put plainly. She made a shocked exclamation. She stomped off again. "Jules!" he ran after her. "I didn't mean to say that. No, look, I didn't." he said, for she rolled her eyes.

"No, you didn't," she said, faking sweetness, "Argghhh! You make me so mad!" And she punched him once in the stomach. Unfortunately for her, his reflexes were really very sharp, and she fell to the ground, holding her nose. "OWWWW!" She stood, and he gasped.

"Oh, gosh! Jules! Oh, gosh! I didn't—let me—show me—is it broken?"

"_STEBE ROGERS! I WILL SHOW YOU BROGGEND!"_ And she proceeded to punch his arm harder and harder.

"Ow! Ow! Will you cut that—Juliette! I didn't mean to!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, real…!" she started angrily, but then she stopped as a handsome college age guy walked up to her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Doh," she said, "I just god oud ub a bad relationdship." **(Translation: I just got out of a bad relationship)** She cast a look at Steve as the two walked off to the infirmary.

He stared after her, totally crushed.

"Ouch," Tony said as he walked up. "We heard that from _all_ the way over there."

Steve just pushed Tony away and walked to his dorm, alone.

_**THIS IS A LINE…THIS IS A LINE…THIS IS A LINE….THIS IS A LINE…LINES HAPPEN SOMETIMES...**_

In the cafeteria, or whatever it was called, Steve sat and stared at Juliette while she laughed at jokes that the guy was telling her.

He groaned yet again.

Then he face-tabled himself. Because face-palm just isn't enough sometimes.

"Hcdibsstupd?" he asked Clint, who picked up a slice of pizza and said, "I'm sorry, _what?_"

Steve looked up. "How could I be so stupid?" he moaned, then slammed his face against the table again.

"Let's go over what went wrong, shall we?" Tony started, "Okay, first, you brought your idiot friend Tanya over—major uh-oh—then you made her feel jealous…"

"She _was _jealous!"

"…after that, you told her that she was being stupid…"

"Which she was!"

"…and then, to top it all off, you broke her nose. That's rule #3 of Things to Never, Ever, Ever Do to Your Girlfriend."

"I should apologize!" Steve moaned.

"No," corrected Tony, "that would make her mad. Your next step should be to continuously stare at her and moan and basically just act pathetic."

Steve slammed his head against the table repeatedly.

"Yeah, like that," said Tony.

"Steve, just get over it," said Clint, "You could get tons of chicks, twice as hot as Juliette, plus, most of them would be willing to get you lucky, if you know what I mean." He winked.

Steve stared at him blankly. "No," he said, "I have no idea what you mean."

"You know what," replied Clint slowly, "I think I'm gonna go sit by the Delta Phi girls." And he stood and walked over to them, saying, "Hey, girls! Today's your lucky day, because you get to sit by a superhero!"

Natasha crushed her soda can, even though there was still some Coke left in it.

Across the room, Tanya, the stupid blonde chick from earlier, saw Clint get up. Seeing as the seat next to Steve was empty, she decided to go get the vice versa rebound.

"Hey, Stevie!" she squealed, placing her stuff by him, "So what's going on with you guys?"

Tony exchanged glances with Bruce, and the two of them burst out laughing.

"Oh," laughed Bruce, "oh…oh. (Giggle). Oh, you were serious?"

Tanya pouted. "Um, yah! I wasn't even talking to you, bit—"

Bruce laughed again. "I'm actually male. Didn't you learn the difference?"

"Let's go sit somewhere, else, Stevie," she glared at Tony and Bruce, "These people are total _nerds_."

And she dragged him to a large group of frat boys and sorority girls.

They stared.

"This is really starting to shape up like that movie," said Natasha.

"What, _The Revenge of the Nerds_?" asked Bruce skeptically.

"No way," said Tony, "haven't you seen that movie? There's no 'Alpha Beta, Alpha Beta'…"

Just then Tony was interrupted by a large group of frat boys cheering, "_Alpha Beta! Alpha Beta!"_

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Tony stared disbelievingly.

"I want a refund. I quit. Whatever, this job really sucks," muttered Natasha.

**A/N: Yeah, I know this chapter sucks. (See first A/N)**

**I will try to update daily!**


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